


casual necromancy and other bad ideas

by Panic_Room



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Danny is a Cryptid, Ghosts, Jack and Maddie are dead, Multi, Slice of Life, Vlad is retired from evil and is now a literature professor, literature dad vlad, the old disney treatment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panic_Room/pseuds/Panic_Room
Summary: Slice of life style with no overarching plot but plenty of dumb humor and fluff. Also featuring dad vlad.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I started watching Danny Phantom again for the first time in about 8-ish years? and i wanted to write either massive trauma/recovery or gen z humor and fluff, so there's this now. 
> 
> Like it says in the description, no over-arching plot bc that's hard af, just random stuff and as many headcannons as I can stuff in here. 
> 
> As an actual note on the story, I don't hate Jack or Maddie, I actually love them, but I didn't want to figure out a different way to have dad vlad without getting into heavy stuff. Enjoy!

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Principal Ishiyama.” The man lowered himself easily into the chair before her and adjusted his tie, then freezing. “Did I say that right?” The question was spoken with a slight forward tilt of his head and a down-quirk of his lips.

Ishiyama nodded, giving the man a reassuring smile. “You did, yes.”

The man, Vladimir Masters, returned her nod. Ishiyama looked him over for a moment, taking in his appearance. Gray hair was pulled back into a ponytail, sitting right at the nape of his neck. A black suit and dress pants were tailored perfectly to frame his broad shoulders and lean figure. The front pocket of his suit was occupied by a red silk square, complimenting the red silk tie he wore. 

Knowing that her second of ogling was up, Ishiyama cleared her throat before speaking. “What would you like to speak about, Mr. Masters?” 

Vlad leaned back in his seat and perched his clasped hands on his lap. Shallow frown lines framed his mouth for a second, but disappeared as soon as he spoke. “Well, I’d like to talk about Jazz and Danny.” 

“Naturally.” Ishiyama was suddenly more aware of the lines framing her own mouth, lines that were far deeper and far more permanent. 

“I want to make sure that their teachers know that they may need some . . . adjusting.” Vlad shifted again, bringing one leg up to rest comfortably over the opposite knee before replacing his hands. “As I’m sure you’re aware, I’m not their biological father.” 

Ishiyama nodded grimly. “Yes, I read the report of what happened. Their old school sent me their transcript along with the report, and you were listed as their uncle.” 

“Oh good heavens, no.” Vlad’s instant dismissal brought Ishiyama’s brows together in confusion. “I was their godfather, and now their legal guardian.” He hesitated, and when he spoke again his voice was noticeably lower. “Jack and Madelaine were good friends of mine from our college days, and though we’d had our disagreements over the years, they still entrusted me with the care of their children should the worst happen.” 

“I see.” Ishiyama spoke slowly, keeping her voice soft. “If the children have any difficulties with schoolwork, or just need someone to speak to, Counselor Spectra is well-versed in grief counseling.” Ishiyama bit the inside of her lip, before adding “And if you have any concerns, you’re more than welcome to call or stop by.” 

The smile Vlad gave her warmed her chest, his whole demeanor relaxing after the statement. “You are too kind, Principal.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his hands lightly on the edge of her desk. “On that thought though, I do have another concern I’d like to speak about.” 

Ishiyama mirrored the position, scooting forward in her chair a bit and resting one elbow on her desk. “Go ahead.” 

Vlad paused, his mouth hanging open just long enough for Ishiyama to see his perfectly white straight teeth in a glossy white. “I know that there will be adjustments they need to make, we did move all the way from Chicago after all. But, how do I say this?” He drummed his fingers on the desk once. “Jack and Maddie were quite  _ eccentric _ . And, rest their souls, I fear that Jazz and Daniel may have picked up some unusual habits of their own.” 

Ishiyama frowned, leaning back just a bit and narrowing her eyes. Her voice remained professionally when she spoke though. “In what way?” 

Vlad met her eyes, his voice deadpan. “They studied ghosts.” 

Despite her attempts to keep a straight face, Ishiyama felt her eyebrows quirk up just a bit of their own accord. “Paranormal Investigation is,” she flailed, trying to find the words, “certainly an interesting profession, but it’s not quite as eccentric as many people think. In fact, Amity Park has a long history of suspected hauntings.” 

A soft chuckle escaped Vlad. “It went a bit farther than that. We all studied the paranormal in college, that’s how I met them. Eventually they tried to open a portal of sorts to the afterlife. The project was disastrous, and I switched to business. Since then their obsession with ghosts never faded though, and even when they had children they spent the majority of time hunting down and studying ghosts.” 

He fell silent, and Ishiyama tried to think of an appropriate response. In this context, she finally had an understanding of the response that the students often gave, a simple ‘oof’ instead of trying to find words to sympathize. Her tongue sat thickly in her mouth though, her brain refusing to think of words for a heavy beat of silence. 

Instead of words, Ishiyama found it was far easier to extend her hand across the desk and rest it gently over his. He started at the contact, seeming to have lost himself in the memories. He gave her a terse smile and removed his hands from the desk. Ishiyama withdrew hers. “I’m afraid that their enthusiastic and overly combative interest in ghosts may have taught Jazz and Daniel to be quite jumpy at times. It’s my hope that they will be able to relax now that Chicago is behind us, but they may very well need some grace from the good teachers here.” 

It clicked with Ishiyama then, what he was trying to tell her about the children. “Rest assured Mr. Masters. I will speak with the teachers that have Jazz or Daniel in their classes, and hold a refresher for interacting with trauma-impacted students.” 

“Thank you, Principal. You really are too kind.” Masters gave her a grateful smile. Ishiyama felt herself relax as the heavy topic of conversation cleared, and gave a smile in return. “There is one more topic I’d like to speak about, if you have the time.”

“Of course. I’m all ears.” 

“After the accident last year, Jazz and Daniel missed quite a few months of school. I have no doubt that they will succeed with flying colors this year, but I would like to consider a sort of hybrid curriculum.” One corner of Vlad’s mouth quirked up and he brought a hand up to cover it, pretending to stroke his well-groomed beard instead. “Remedial classes at home would be of great benefit to them.” 

Ishiyama thought for a moment. She’d read over the Fenton children’s transcripts from their Chicago school. They’d missed the last three months of school, and it probably would have been more if not for the beginning of summer. They’d both passed the final exams and standardized tests for their classes, Jazz far more comfortably than Daniel, but they’d both taken a dip in grades. Anything they’d studied during those months probably hadn’t stuck, whether they passed the tests or not. “We do have a homeschool curriculum available that we could adapt into remedial classes, but I would like to gauge what level they are at before anything is assigned. Instead of joining classes tomorrow, I would like to bring them in to take a general exam over all subjects. After that, we can more accurately determine if remedial classes are needed, and in which subjects.” 

Vlad’s smile brightened, and he stood. “Principal Ishiyama, thank you. You are a peach.” 

Ishiyama stood as well, extending her hand for a shake. He clasped it with both of his, and instead of shaking vigorously, he stooped down to press a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. When he straightened, Ishiyama was glad her foundation was as good as it was, otherwise he would surely see the flush coloring her cheeks and creeping up her neck. “It’s been a pleasure, thank you.” 

“The pleasure’s all mine, Principal. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing (1) Dash Baxter, and Danny is a shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will vary wildly in length, apparently.

“Class, I’d like to introduce a new student.” Mr. Lancer’s droll voice swept over the room, quieting the few students stubborn enough to keep talking after the bell had rung. 

Cutting off his conversation with Kwan, Dash turned his attention to the front of the class and gave the kid standing there next to Lancer a once-over. In a word, the kid was scrawny. He barely reached up to Lancer’s shoulder, and he was in that weird middle stage of puberty where his arms and torso had grown, but not his legs. A serious growth spurt was probably in his near future. 

The kid was twitchy, too. He kept shifting weight from one foot to the other and tapping a few fingers on the strap of his backpack, which Dash only now realized was held together with duct tape. The other hand was stuffed into the pocket of his baggy jeans, and scuffed and dirtied high-tops peeked out from under the too-long hem. 

“Say hello to Daniel Fenton.” The kid, Daniel apparently, jumped just enough when his name was spoken for Dash to notice. 

Daniel immediately straightened and peered out from under his wild mess of black hair. “Oh, it’s Danny, actually.” He swept his hyperfocused gaze over the room for just a second, before returning to staring at the floor.

Lancer hummed noncommittally. “Tell us a bit about yourself, Danny.” 

The kid rocked back on his heels and exhaled, then rolled forward onto the balls of his feet. “Well, uh, I used to live in Chicago, I have an older sister, and I want to be an astronaut.” 

Scattered sounds of vague acknowledgement came from a few of the students, and Lancer nodded. “Thank you Danny, go ahead and take a seat somewhere.” 

Messy hair, baggy clothes, and a duct tape backpack. Dash made up his mind; this kid would be fun to mess with. 

There were only two open seats in the room, and as luck would have it, Danny started towards the one that would take him right past Dash’s desk. A gleeful feeling swelled in Dash’s chest, and he checked how far away the kid was. 

When Danny glanced at Dash, he gave him a disarming smile and a small wave. Danny only gave a tense smile and a jerky nod in return, but it didn’t matter, he was still distracted. 

When Danny was close enough, just starting to pass Dash’s desk, Dash swept his leg out into the aisle. Danny's legs collided with his with a heavy thud, and he pitched forward to faceplant. 

Dash swiveled to face him, some crummy joke or other about tripping already on his tongue. The words died in his mouth though, when Danny didn’t fall, but instead seemed to float in the air for just a second as he hopped over Dash’s leg with ease and continued to his chosen desk. 

Eyes wide, Dash stared at Danny as he sat down. He knew damn well that Danny had run into his leg, he should be face down, intimately familiar with the laminate tile right now. How the hell had he not tripped? He hadn’t even grabbed a desk to right himself, his hands had remained firmly on his duct taped backpack strap.

Instead of any sort of answer, the only thing Dash got by openly staring in bewilderment at the kid was a sly smirk and a wink. 

At a loss for what to do, Dash slowly swiveled back to face the front of the room. Lancer called out a page number to open their books to and started teaching, but Dash couldn’t focus on the lesson. Not that he usually could, but today he kept seeing that damn smirk in the back of his head. Picking on this kid was going to be harder than it looked. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a Bechdel test?

“Did you see the new kids?” Star plopped herself against the locker next to Valerie’s, her expression as excited as her voice. 

Valerie gave her a blank expression. “Duh, just about everyone’s seen them by now.” She closed her locker and started towards the cafeteria. 

“Well?” Star fell into pace next to her. 

Valerie sighed. “Well what?” 

“Do you think he’s cute?” Star’s question was accompanied by an eyebrow waggle and a pointed grin. 

“Star, I told you I’m not looking to date right now.” 

Star rolled her eyes. “I _know_ that, but you don’t have to date him to think he’s cute.” 

Knowing that it was a losing battle, Valerie shook her head and peered down the hall. The new kid had gotten the rotten luck to have a locker next to the band room, and as Valerie watched he ducked under a tuba strapped to a band geek. She could still see him well enough, and thought about it. 

As if he could tell, Valerie saw him stiffen and glance around. Before he could notice that Valerie was staring at him, she turned back to Star. “Kind of plain looking. Not my type.” 

Star gasped, feigning offense. Or, maybe she wasn’t feigning. Valerie couldn’t quite tell when it came to Star and boys. “Oh come on. Black hair and blue eyes? To die for!” She flipped her hair dramatically. “Not to mention that rock-solid jawline.” 

Valerie scrunched up her face and snuck another look at the new kid. “He’s still got a baby face.” 

“He’ll grow out of it!” 

Regardless, Valerie shook her head. “Not my thing, Star. If you’re into him then go for it. I’m sure it’d make his week.”

That didn’t seem to be Star’s goal though. “Then what is your thing?” 

They made it into the mostly empty cafeteria just in time to see the door to Principal Ishiyama’s office swing open, and Valerie could practically hear Star’s jaw hitting the floor. “Tall, dark, and mature?” 

Star had stopped walking, and Valerie paused as well, watching the man. He was probably in his late forties, his hair in a sleek ponytail, wearing a tailored suit and flawlessly creased pants. A perfectly manicured beard caressing his chin was visible for just a moment as he adjusted his tie. Then he turned and made his way toward the main doors of the school with confident strides. 

“Oh my god.” Star’s voice was a hushed whisper, despite them being the only two around to hear. “If he were my daddy I’d be the happiest kitten in the world!” Valerie turned to face her, finding her with phone in hand scrolling through several pictures she’d snapped of the man. Somehow, she wasn’t surprised. 

It took a moment for the terms that Star had used to register, terms which Valerie only knew after letting Star talk about her freaky interests. “Ugh.” 

Again, Star feigned offense and clutched her arm, still smiling dreamily at the photo displayed on her phone. 

“Girl, if you don’t get your thirsty ass off my arm!” Valerie’s disgust was still evident in her voice, but Star just rolled her eyes again and set one of the photos as her background before releasing the arm she held captive. 

“I wonder who he is?” Star looked back at the door he’d left through, the man long since gone. She gasped, and shook Valerie’s arm again. “Maybe he’s a teacher here!” 

Valerie shook her head. “If he were a teacher we’d have seen him before now. It’s almost a month into the semester.” 

They started walking again, making their way towards the gymnasium. Star was still looking at her phone, and when Valerie glanced over she could see the blonde adding pink and red hearts around one of the photos. “Whoever he is, he’s going on the wall.” 

Valerie shook her head again. “You know how weird it is that you have pictures of random dudes plastered on your wall, right?” 

With a giggle Star locked her phone and pocketed it, picking up her pace. “Correction, I have pictures of random _hot_ dudes on my wall.” 

“Whatever, girl. We gotta get to class.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this too many times, and I am now way too familiar with Lord of the Flies for someone who graduated high school years ago.

“Hey Vlad?” Danny’s voice broke the oppressive silence of the lab, bringing Vlad back to focus on the present. He scrunched his eyes closed to block out the too-bright screen, but the numbers he’d been staring at were still visible in perfect clarity against the back of his eyelids. Vlad rubbed his eyes with the heel of one palm, trying to clear the images and the slight ache out of his tired eyes. 

It didn’t work as well as he’d like, but it was something. Vlad sniffed lightly and perched his reading glasses back on the bridge of his nose. “Yes Daniel?” 

Danny was still hovering in the door when Vlad turned to look at him, one bony hand clutching a small book.

With a smirk Danny crossed his arms over his chest, bringing the book up as well. “Nerd.” 

“If you’ve come here to insult me, you really need to do better than that.” Vlad swiveled his chair to fully face the boy, and noticed that the title of the book was now partially visible, just enough for him to recognize the name of the accursed novel. 

Danny shrugged and took a few steps into the room. He remained silent though, only tapping the fingers of one hand against his arm while pointedly looking at anywhere but Vlad.

“Spit it out Daniel.” 

The boy sighed dramatically and threw his hands in the air. “Fine! Can you help me with this stupid book?” 

For once Vlad found himself agreeing with Danny’s insult to literature. He remained passive though. “I don’t know, Daniel. I’m quite busy here.” He gestured in a sweeping motion at the cardboard boxes still scattered around the basement. It was hardly a proper lab yet. “I still have all this unpacking to do, not to mention my research..” 

Danny glowered, glancing around at the boxes in various states of unpacking. “You don’t have a due date for your research.” 

Vlad let the silence stick for a moment more, enjoying Danny’s discomfort too much. 

“I already asked Jazz, and she tried to help but I can’t keep up.” Danny finally met Vlad’s eyes, and it was then that he found himself giving in. 

As much as he enjoyed watching Danny struggle to ask for help, especially for something as simple as homework, he found himself agreeing much quicker than he’d intended. Something about that puppy-dog look the boy had given him twisted whatever was left of his heart up. 

“Alright.” Vlad stood, wincing in pain and then relief as several joints popped loudly. “I could use a break anyway.” 

“Dude.” And just like that, Danny was back to giving him a reproachful if not appreciative look. “Snap, crackle, pop much?” 

Unable to resist the temptation, Vlad twisted a tiny bit, just barely enough to relieve the stubborn joints in his lower back. Those tended to be much louder when they popped, and through his relief-squinted eyes Vlad saw Danny’s expression turn from reproachful to almost horrified by the chorus. 

Eyes as wide as they’d go and eyebrows reaching for the sky, Danny mouthed a silent ‘wow,’ and turned to head back up the stairs. He called behind him, “See you in the kitchen when you’re done, Rice Krispie.” 

After popping and stretching every joint that he could, Vlad felt the oppression of the basement fall from his shoulders as he climbed the stairs. Joint stiffness was a result of age, and no doubt due in large part to his activities as Plasmius. No matter how ghostly he was, the human body did not take kindly to violent fistfights and ectoplasmic blasts three nights out of the week. 

At the top of the stairs, Vlad found Danny sitting at the kitchen table, elbows resting on the surface and his head resting in his hands. Sparing a glance as he walked by, Vlad noted that  _ Lord of the Flies _ was sitting on top of a notebook, the open page already full of illegible notes. Passing the table in favor of the stove, Vlad filled the kettle and set it to boil. “What’s the assignment?” He pulled two mugs from the cabinet and busied himself with prepping the teabags as Danny spoke. 

“Ugh. Lancer wants us to pick a character and say how they represent one of the central themes of the book.” 

Vlad nodded, though he knew that Danny wasn’t facing him to see it. He hadn’t read the novel in years, but he was readily familiar with it. After all, it seemed it was a favorite of high school teachers and college professors alike. “How long does the paper need to be?” 

“Three hundred words.” It was said with such loathing that Vlad had to stifle a chuckle. He shouldn’t laugh, he really shouldn’t, but he’d been expecting something in the thousands range. 

Sensing the ire from the boy behind him, Vlad turned around to lean against the counter. “Only three hundred?” Danny was frowning at him something fierce. “To cover the entire book?” 

Danny’s frown turned to a balk, disgust sweeping over his face. “God no, it’s just the first chapter. I’ve only been at the school for two days now, you think Lancer would really give me an essay on the whole book?” 

“I would have.” 

The kettle went off, starting out as a soft hiss and quickly escalating into a shriek. Vlad turned again to take it off the burner and pour their tea, but he didn’t miss the scoff escape Danny. “Yeah, well you also give your students a month and they’re in college. This is due Friday.” 

Now armed with two steaming mugs of tea Vlad joined Danny at the table. He poured a modest amount of honey into his before taking a sip. “Regardless, what themes did Lancer give you to work with?” 

Danny poured an overly generous amount of honey into his own cup and stirred. “Like, chaos and order.” 

Vlad frowned a bit. “Do you mean the order that is created by civilization versus the savage human nature?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” Danny waved his hand dismissively, but Vlad didn’t miss the downturn of his own mouth. 

“And which of the characters have you decided on?” Vlad took another sip of tea. 

“I started with Ralph, I mean he’s the obvious choice, but I can’t figure out how anything he does shows order.” Danny pulled the notebook out from under the book and tapped the top of the page with his pencil. “And I can’t figure out why that stupid shell is so important.” 

Vlad leaned forward to rest his arms on the table and peered at the notebook. He quickly gave up after realizing that absolutely nothing on the page was legible. “Why do you say that Ralph is the obvious choice?” 

Danny looked at the book in front of him and then back to his notebook, his eyebrows furrowing together. “I don’t know.” His shoulders rose as he spoke, and he curled into himself. 

Observing the reaction Vlad sighed internally. “Is there a different character you’d rather do?” He leaned back in his chair and sipped his tea, if only to keep himself from launching into a lecture. 

Danny’s mouth pressed itself into a thin line. “...Piggy?” 

“Okay. Why do you say Piggy?” Vlad prompted, glancing at the time on the stove. 

“You know, you could just tell me that Piggy is the wrong choice, instead of pulling this guessing game bullshit.” Danny’s gaze remained firmly fixed to his notebook, but his mouth was set in a hard line and the color of his cheeks deepened just a bit. “I know that I don’t get it, you don’t have to rub it in.” 

“Daniel.” Vlad chastised, replacing his mug on the table and leaning forward again. In response Danny only leaned farther away, but Vlad counted it as a win that he was still at the table. He pulled the notebook away from Danny and grabbed a pen from the front pocket of his shirt. Turning to a clean page, he wrote four names, each spaced out down the page. “I cannot tell you that, for it isn’t true. Each of these characters is perfectly capable of demonstrating the establishment of order, or displaying the savagery that Golding believed was at the core of human nature.” 

“Fine then.” Danny leaned back, crossing his arms and squaring his shoulders with the motion. He raised his chin and looked Vlad in the eye. “What about Simon?” 

Vlad only raised an eyebrow at the question. It was too late and he was too tired to take up Danny’s challenge, especially not when it was over something as asinine as  _ Lord of the Flies _ characters. “Of course. What does Simon do in the first chapter?” 

A moment of silence passed, Danny still giving him that same expression. “He doesn’t do anything though, he just follows Jack.” 

“And why does he follow Jack?” Vlad rested his elbow on the table and set his chin in his hand. Under Simon’s name he wrote ‘follows Jack’ and looked up at Danny expectantly. 

“Uhm,” Danny fidgeted with his mug, deciding to gulp down half of it then, “because he’s in the choir group?” 

“Exactly. Jack leads the choir group, so Simon follows him.” Vlad wrote down ‘choir’ as well before pushing the notebook back over to Danny. 

The boy stayed quiet, staring at the few words written on the page. Vlad exhaled and downed a large gulp of his tea, setting the mug back on the coaster decisively. “I can’t do this assignment for you Daniel, but since you are clearly struggling I will help you. Jack and Ralph are both established as authority figures within the first chapter. Ralph gains authority from blowing the conch and calling the boys to the beach. Jack holds authority over the choir group because he led them previously.” The confusion cleared from Danny’s face and Vlad continued. “In following Jack’s authority, Simon complies with the previously established societal order.” 

“Okay, okay, I think I get it. Even though he doesn’t really do anything, Simon is still obedient to Jack because of the order they’d established before the island.” 

“Exactly.” 

With renewed vigor, Danny scribbled down notes under Simon’s name. “Now I just have to turn this into three hundred words by Friday.” 

Vlad snuck a look at Danny’s page and noted how his handwriting was more orderly than before, actual sentences appearing instead of words, phrases, and question marks. He allowed Danny to focus, the quick scratch of the pencil against paper and their soft breathing the only sounds audible. 

His fatigue caught up with him then, in the relaxed silence as Danny wrote. For as much trouble as he’d given Danny earlier, Vlad really had needed a break from the lab. Between the quiet between them, the warm tea he was drinking, and the soft light of the kitchen instead of the harsh fluorescents of the basement, Vlad was drifting off. His head was heavy, and resting his chin in his palm only tempted him to rest his eyes as well. 

He was mostly asleep when he registered that Danny had spoken. Opening his eyes again, Vlad found a smile tugging the corners of Danny’s mouth up. “Hm? What was that Daniel?” 

The smile grew, and Danny shook his head lightly. “I said thanks, fruit loop.” 

Vlad’s own mouth tugged up at the words. “You’re quite welcome badger.” He downed the rest of his tea before standing, his joints protesting in silence this time. “It’s quite late, so I will be retiring. Don’t stay up too late, now.” He set his empty mug in the sink and climbed the stairs, hearing Danny hum behind him. The scratch of the pencil was still audible. 


End file.
